Got confirmation today the recall is moving forward. After all the work we’ve put into this… I know they’re just fishing. The Cranamericans are using their lobbying $$$. Or the govt’s afraid of the 4reeMachiners. My bet is on CranAm. Whoever it is, they’re using this latest incident with Tom to bring down the company. Why did I call the police?!?!?! Not your best work, Lil.
But I can make all this go away. I’m sure of it. And Tom is fine. Has been fine, anyway. Although sometimes the way he looks at me…
I’m seeing things. It’s just the stress. Tom loves me, I know he does. The incident was an anomaly.
I can’t wait until all of this is over.
Tom’s been fine since the incident. Administered Tuning test yesterday, he passed with flying colors. I found a Facebook page under his name but I can’t believe it’s really his and I’m afraid to ask him in case it isn’t… if it isn’t, someone is really out for us. Mostly it’s normal but there are all these posts w crazy conspiracy theories, CranAm stuff. I can’t believe Tom would even read those articles, let alone post them online publicly.
4reeMachine’s saying they can hack the Tuning test, media’s picking it up. I know it’s impossible. The recall is just politics. The chips are unhackable, the app is secure. But if they find out the recall is because of the violent incident they could claim they hacked him. If that hits the news… I don’t know. It’s not looking good. I don’t see a way out this time.
Tom just got home. He brought me flowers.
Braintune recall has been publicly announced. I’m a mess, trying to hide it. I don’t know if Tom even cares. Of course he cares, what am I saying—it’s just, I don’t know. He has a different way of showing things than most people. I thought it was a symptom of the illness, something we could tweak, but I’m not so sure anymore. I think it might just be him. Which makes me wonder if the incident had anything to do with his illness either.
Listen to me. Everything going on… it’s got me paranoid. Seeing things that aren’t there. God, I’m tired. The Tuning tests are accurate. They have to be. I want to see a way out of this, to have faith. To look at this as a bump in the road, not an earthquake.
Tom passed the pilot test, got his license. Maybe it’s time to get out of town for a few days. This whole thing isn’t going to just blow over, I know that. But I’m so tired. A couple of days away from everything, away from the internet, sounds like heaven. Trying to keep up a cheerful face in public is exhausting. I want to be somewhere with no TV cameras, no online forums, no email. Until I figure out what to do next. How to get through this mess. After everything I worked for I can’t believe it’s come to this. The technology works. I know it does. They know it does. They just can’t bear to see a woman succeed.
Went to a CranAm prayer group. In disguise, obviously. I’d seen some things on 4reeMachines, allusions to CranAm paranoia that sounded a lot liked leaked Braintune data (who leaked it???? and why??—that’s what I wanted to know). (also, gotta admit it. I was curious.)
Well. They’re crazy, whacked-out fundamentalists. That’s for sure. But the data leak is real. Leader of the prayer group was spouting all kinds of stuff—accurate data mixed in with conspiracy theory. They’re convinced the chips can be used to swap bodies. Which is so out there I’m not sure even they really believe it but… who else has seen the data? How did they get it? Need to review logs, firewalls, security protocols. But quietly. I don’t think the leak is Tom. But I can’t be sure.
T wants to take me upstate for the weekend. To “make up for” the incident. Get my mind off things (is he reading THIS??? now I’m really seeing things). (If you are: FUCK OFF, Tom.) We’ve been down this road before. I’m so tired. But a couple of days away, time to get my head clear—that’s exactly what I asked for. I’ll shut myself in my room or something. Let him feel guilty.
Why am I even doing this… Just need some time to figure out how to solve this mess.